"Shand, are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Iva nervously.
"Of course darl, I'm not afraid - Cashmere's a flibbidy jibit, ain't no way she's going to mess with me."
"And what about Prissy, you know nothing about her" said Carmene looking Shandy in the eye.
"Oh WOT EVAH, you two, if you don't want to be here, go. I can deal with this, your both a pair of lily-livered lumps."
Iva grabbed for Shandy's hand "No way hon, we are in this together."
"Well come along then."
Edging along the corridor they noted the numbers until they arrived at room 1414.
"Why has this room got double doors and the others haven't?" whispered Carmene.
"Cause these bitches are in a suite" said Shandy "Obviously someone's got plenty of spondoola to splash about".
Shandy drew a breath and slipped the key into the opening, illuminating the green light that announced they were seconds from gaining entry. Turning the handle gently there was a click. Iva gasped - they were all nervous now.
Pushing the door gently ajar, they peered in through the narrow opening. No noise, no movement. So far so good.
Shandy pushed the door open a little further - still nothing.
"They must be out," whispered Shandy "Lets go in."
Pushing the door open they walked into a stylish lounge room which had doorways leading off at either side.
"Well, they are certainly traveling in style," muttered Shandy "Lets not waste time! We need to quickly case the joint to see if we can find anything of relevance."
Carmene gave her a blank stare. "Ahem - CASE THE JOINT...? You've been hanging with the fuzz too much darling, you're talking like an ep of CSI Miami."
"OHHHHHHH I love that show!" gasped Iva excitedly "Horatio is such a hottie, I could so do the nastee with him."
"Ewwwww" replied Carmene, casting a disbelieving eye in her direction "You lie; he has red hair."
"So what? I think guys with red hair are spunks - ain't nothing nicer than munching on a thatch of red pubes."
"You're a sick puppy Iva."
"Shhhhhhh!" snapped Shandy "We do not have time to debate Iva's Follicle fetish, we have work to do."
They moved towards one of the doorways. Just as they were about to open it...
"Well, well, I do declare - I would know thayt voice anywhayer" the voice spoke out, clear, distinct and with an obvious southern drawl.
The door was flung open and the girls all screamed.
Standing before them was a tall, statuesque woman with peircing blue eyes, and thick, long, lustrous blonde hair teased slightly at the front to create height, it then cascaded luxuriously down her back. She wore stunning tailored white trousers and a turquoise silk blouse with swarovski crystal buttons. Shandy recognised immediately as the latest Alessandro Dell'Acqua, it was straight off the Milano catwalk - she was gagging for that blouse she thought.
"CASHMERE, ummm..." mumbled Shandy
"Wayell if it isn't my dear friend Delwood Hickory Cottonwood, Ive been expecting youuu"
"The name is Shandlier Wilson - you know that Cashmere - do you have a problem with that"
"Au contraire - I'm not enjoying your tone of voice. I of all people understand your situation only too well. But before your mind starts racing off thinking that I am not what I portray myself to be - you are wrong, I am a lady in every sense of the word, indeed yes. My sister on the other hand is one of your - how do I say this delicately - folk".
"Meaning" snapped Shandy
"Whay my dear - my sister is none other than someone you are well acquainted with - I refer to Miss Claire Voyant"
"What the fuck?" hissed Carmene "As if."
"Whomever you are, your foul language, not to mention your choice of ensemble is causing me severe abdominal distress. Its more than a person of my artistic sensitivity can bare. Cease and desist"
Before Shandy could muster a response, Cashmere continued.
"Actually - I hayve been expecting youu. As they say - Wait thayre's more"
Walking elegantly across the room. Shandy noted Cashmere's divine Jimmy Choo high HIGH heeled silver Lola sandals. Bitch she muttered under her breath.
Cashmere turned perfectly to face them "What lies behind door-ah number twooo"
With the flick of the handle, she pushed the door open. Standing there before them was a very large, very black woman. The tension increased.
Cashmere waived her perfectly manicured hand "May I introduce you to your long lost sister - Prissy"
"Sooooooo finally I git to meet my skanky brudda, you the one, you the one that never came to find me"
Shandy finally regained her composure "Excuse me - I have no idea what your referring to"
"Don'tchoo be given me none of that - look at you, you all think yo high and mighty now that you a woman an all, but I been told by Miss Cashmere here that you'all knew you had a brother and that you'all knew I was bought up wrong by foster parents, ize been done wrong, Ize been bought up bad, ize been in trouble and you dun nothin to find me, nothin to help yo blood. But you, you been bought up all fancy like - look at you in your fine threads drippin in ice. You'all left me for dead ho. Then I hear that yo a nastee peice of shit, yo been messin with my peeps vibe and they been good to me theyze have and we gonna see to it that you goin down bitch, cause Im not fly witch you, yo hear me?"
"But let me explain, I did not know anything, I only found out tonight that I had a brother"
"You lieeeee"
"No - you have to give me a chance to talk"
"Ahem" interupted Cashmere "My dear - Shandalier, I'm fraught with peril over your situation, truly I am, but news flash dahhhling, its not all about you this time - cut to me. I look at you as my arch enemy slash best friend. I say arch enemy for I have never forgiven you for usurping me at the Miss Boiling Springs Pageant. Call me old fashioned - but revenge is a dish best served cold. Or in the words of your delightfully hoochie sister - gurlfren you'all is going downnnnn."
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