The Secrets Within

The sound of Clare's voice shocked everyone in the tiny, darkened room. They spun around to see the pseudo psychic psycho standing in the doorway that Shandy had been groping earlier. In Clare's hand Shandy could make out a lady-sized silver revolver, its side panels inlaid with the most darling sheaths of jade. Clare raised it to chest level.

"Now," she whispered harshly, "speaking of dropping dead..."

Iva, Camene and Shandy gasped, this was some serious sheep shit going down. As glamorous as the surrounds of that couture-laden walk-in wardrobe was, there was no way Iva was going to kiss her jugs of steel goodbye here.

Saul and Iva glanced at each other, it was but a moment but their eyes communicated something to each other that words could not express. The understanding that flickered under Iva's Haute-Couture Socialite Collection Bloodsuckingly Black mascara-laden eyelashes was in total sync with the thoughts jumping to the forefront of Saul's manly brow-
THIS BITCH IS GOING DOWN AND WE'RE GOING TO TAKE HER.

Shandy and Carmene crawled for cover, hiding behind a collection of stunning furs. Shandy fought hard to concentrate on the life-and-death situation unfolding in front of her eyes while simulteanously soothingly stroking Clare's majestic badger stole. In the smoothest of ass-kicking swipes Iva lifted her Gerbe-stockinged leg (French) and pointed her nude-blonde stiletto clad size 11 directly at the silver pistol. At the exact same moment Saul dived directly at Clare. Saul's manly frame was too much for the rather mediocre medium and Iva's size 11 proved to be quite a bit stronger than the girly grip Clare had on her puny pistol. Clare lurched to the ground in the most undignified fashion, falling clumsily while exposing a rather large portion of her ample plumber's cleavage. There was a single piercing sound of a shot being fired and much commotion.

Saul leapt to his feet and offered his hand to Iva, "Let's split Sweetheart."

Iva offered him her sexiest smirk and slapped her hand into his. Their hands met, as their eyes had done earlier, forging a connection in the dark and a moment that would ensure gunpowder was an aphrodisiac for both of them for years to come. There was something firm and pulsing between them...

"Jesus, move over you two and let's get out of here." Shandy had found herself bowled over and in the thick of the scrum, her pace pressed into Saul's pulsing manhood and the back of her head nestled in Iva's throbbing mound.

The two tore themselves apart and pulled Shandy to her feet.

"She's out cold," Shandy said referring to Clare Voyant, who lay sprawled in a cartoon-character fashion on the ground.

"Let's split," Saul said pushing the door open.

Saul burst through the door, unaware that the frail and pansyesque Wil was on the other side, having crept up on his health-stockinged feet to peek in at the commotion. Saul sent him flying, knocking Wil and his Doctor Scholl's out at the same time.

Iva and Saul high-fived each other and began to hug.

"Get a room later you pair of fuckstruck randy-rooters," Shandy uttered as she hustled between them, "We need to split this popsicle stand before Rip Van Winkle and Sleeping Beauty wake up to us."

Iva looked down at her hand, still holding the hideous bejewelled hood, she turned and dropped it on Wil's crumpled body, "Bitch, please!" She uttered as she turned to make her escape.

The three ran down the stairs before Iva paused, "But where's Carmene?" She looked frantically around.

"It's ok I'm coming," Carmene was clambering down the stairs holding something bulky.

They flew outside and out of the high security gates just in time to see a white security van pull up outside the house. They paused, this was it, they were caught red-handed breaking, entering and making poor-taste jokes in the home of their rival. The tinted window came down and the rear doors of the van burst open. A face appeared in the window, it was Dirk, the suavest thing to hit the police force since Jimmy Smits.

"Jump in gang," He ordered.
"What are you doing?" Shandy screamed as she clamoured into the back of the van.
"Just saving your arses...again." He called as the doors swung shut and the van sped off.

The foursome in the back took a moment to catch their breath. They had all seen some crazy shit in their times, whether it be the half-man half-horse that lived in the wild bushland in the back of Boiling Springs, or the gang of Aryan Neo-Nazi's who ruled Cell Block H where Saul had been incarcerated or even a trumpet-playing landlady with a collection of plaster penises - but this day would certainly go down in their shared history as a fucking close-call.

There was a lound bang as Carmene pulled something onto the stormtrooper style seats in the rear of the van.

"What's that?" Shandy asked looking at the jewel-encrusted box Carmene had slapped onto the spartan seat.

Carmene turned to Saul, "I was hoping you could tell me."

Saul slid his hands over the lid, it was inlaid with precious gems, glistening diamonds, rich-red rubies and a rather hideous huge opal in the centre.

"I think this is it," Saul uttered, "Pass me the key."

Shandy pulled the key from between her rather massive not-so-grassy knolls where she had snuggled it for safe keeping.

Saul slid the key into the lock, turned it gently and they were so silent that every one of them heard the faint click as the box was unlocked and the lid was opened.

Suddenly there was a scream, Dirk swerved the van as the sound of pain shuddered from the back of the van. It was Carmene, she was looking down at herself and she was completely covered in blood.