Saturday Night

"Ten minutes to showtime Iva", called Tele tapping on Iva's dressing room door.
"Thank you my lovely Hercules."

Officially Tele was the head bouncer; light on bounce, heavy on head, if one was to believe what was written on the toilet wall. He was 6'3" and 120 kilos of pure gorgeous Pacific Islander. He certainly had the strength of two brick shithouses but rarely needed to use it. He could turn a potentially dangerous situation into a light-hearted laugh using nothing but a low voice and a deep genuine laugh.

Tele mostly worked the door and he was good at it. He could say "Good evening", "Big tits" and "Two drink minimum" in fourteen languages and could sniff out a big tipper from fifty paces. But his main priority was looking after the girls. He did regular rounds front-of-house and always made sure the girls weren't hassled by the punters. The Sassy Palms was the kind of place that attracted people with some passionate beliefs - either for or against - but Tele was yet to be in a situation he couldn't handle. Unlike Kooky Kon, the bouncer who'd just left under a cloud of controversy.

Kon had always been a bit of a risk and later Carmene had wondered if his bouncing experience was restricted to the dance floor with a bottle of amyl, but they'd muddled along with him for a few months. It took a minibus of AFL players to unleash him - and unleash he did. The crowd had tolerated the raucous behaviour, the lewd comments and the enormous egos but when star player Shane Mueller, The Mule, had dropped his pants and urinated onto the stage and directly onto Margot Bourgeois' biker-inspired bra and g-string combo Kon had flipped out.
"There are standards Mule, even for you" he'd yelled as he dragged him outside and introduced his face to the pavement. It had ended badly and wouldn't have ended at all if it wasn't for Tele. The only reason no charges had been laid and it had been kept out of the papers was that none of the players wanted it known that they'd been at The Sassy Palms.

Now it was just down to Tele but not for long. Iva and Carmene knew about Morty's son Saul, they just hadn't connected that it was this weekend he was due to get out prison. Carmene could always be relied on to give someone a break, so Saul was starting next week. In the meantime Mausie, Morty and Saul were in the audience and Iva had a surprise planned for them.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeew darling, I have them very hot, hot, hot, don't disappoint noooooow", Imelda minced off the stage.

"Stay and watch my little wonton, you might learn a thing or two" Iva Biggun's music started and she prepared to sashay onto the stage.

"You think Shandelier will like your outfit and your little shooooooow?" Imelda called in time for Iva to spin and face her audience, and lock eyes directly with Shandelier Wilson, the usually absent owner...