War Of The Wigs

Shandy eyed both Imelda and Clare. Following an uncomfortable silence she spoke.


"Well, well, well Imelda, finally you have show your true colours and they are not the usual gawdy disastrous shades you are fond of, but more dark and murky, much like your character"


"Aw darrrrling" purred Imelda. "You no happy. Too baddd. Me no work for you no more. Clare, she like I, she say I do better than work at Sassy Palm, it dump".


"Why you Filipino PUTA" screamed Shandy


"Hey you know call me prostitoot. Anyway you the puta" Imelda flashed her heavily Maybellined eyes in Dirk's direction. "Me know what you do wit him, you scwoo him many time, I know dis ting"


"Imelda your full of crap honey, you have no idea what your sayin" snapped Shandy.

"Yes" interupted Dirk "Thats just more of your lies and stories"

"That so. What your boss tink darrling if he find out you throw leg over murder suspec, hmmmm, you in trouble, la"

Clare looked on throroughly savouring the momement. "Well" she said "Im sure you could to and fro all night, but its tawdry and boring and I have a gorgeous new club to open and that will soon be heaving with patrons, Sassy Palms patrons, oh and Shandy dear as you would say in your commonal ghetto speak - Ize gonna whoop yo ass".

The drag queens broke into maniacal laughter. Iva and Carmene looked on furious.


"So its time for you and your unattractive chaperones to leave"


"Not so fast" said Shandy smugly "I have something to show you Imelda".


"What it"


Shandy flipped open open her luscious Salvatore Ferragano Fondente Satchel, plucking out the blood read bead. "Look familiar darrrrrling" she said mocking Imelda "I believe its off your shoe and it was found on my bathroom floor, the very floor that Black Magic died upon"


Everyone turned - Imelda now the focus of everyone's attention, in particular the gap on her heel that was missing a bead.



"Why you murdering little mole" said Iva "It was you YOU, you killed her".


Imelda momentarily flustered "No, no, it not true, I kill no one"

Clare stepped forward looking Shandy in the eye. "And tell me angel were you alone when you found this riveting discovery"

"Well yes, why"

"Because my dear, you could well have planted it yourself. Ask your "boyfriend" as evidence its worthless"

Shandy looked to Dirk for support.

"Unfortunately its hear say, it would not stand up in a court of law" replied Dirk

Shandy shot him a disappointed look.

"Its as I thought. A futile excercise" replied Clare ever so smugly

"FUCK YOU" screamed Shandy


"Such vulgarity" responded Clare "You may pass yourself as a sophisticated glamourpuss, but sweetie your nothing but a picaninny from Boiling Springs and its time you people remembered where you stand in the pecking order"

"Clare I cannot believe you said that. Your nothing but a biggot"


"Well as scintilating a conversation as this is, its time for you to leave. Hysteria darling please show the riff raff to the door, the rear door" And with that Clare twirled and made a dramatic exit with Will scuffing behind her.

They could tell that Hysteria was not to be trifled with, so they followed the amazon to the door. Momements later in the alley out back, Iva piped up.

"Im so confused. Why is she doing this"


"Revenge, she holds a grudge our Clare" replied Shandy


"Doll do you think she has anything to do with the murder and the attempt on you" asked Carmene


"Not sure, all I know is that we need more evidence, especially against Imelda"


"But how do we do that" asked Iva


"Shandy your cooking up something" said Dirk looking slightly agitated.




Shandy rolled her luscious dior rimmed eyes "As if"

Dirk smirked "Im sorry about the Imelda thing Shandy, but that evidence is worthless. We all know she is guilty, but we need more"


"I could not be angry at you" she replied brushing his had discreetly.

"I need to go" said Dirk "I will call you later". That said he left.

Shandy wasted no time "Listen girls. You and I have a date tonight, we are breaking into Clare's joint to look for evidence. I have a gut feeling we will find something".


Iva stared blankly not quite believing whats she was hearing.


"Im serious. Iva, I know you can pick locks and I reckon I can deactivate the alarm. But I do not want Dirk finding out, so shut your traps".


"But"


"Zip it, we are so doing this"


Later that evening, outside Clare's home, but parked discreetly down the street, Shandy, Iva and Carmene sat waiting. Shandy was still trying to understand Iva's choice of ensemble, a lycra all in one leotard with hood.

"Fuck Iva who do you'all think you are - Cat Woman"


"Get stuffed. Its perfect attire for a stealth mission"


"Shhhhhhh" said Carmene slapping Iva's arm. "Look"


Clare's gates slid open and she emerged driving a luxurious vermillion Audi.


"That beeyotch has way too much money" grumbled Carmene peeking over the dashboard.


Shandy sprung into action whisking a retractable ladder from the boot. Leaning it against the high wall surrounding the house, she wasted no time in scurrying over, the plants breaking her fall. Iva and Carmene followed. The house was shrouded in darkness.

Now at the door, Shandy looked to Iva "Do you thing my sweet sistah".

Plucking a small tool from within her lycra suit she started tweeking the lock. After a few turns the door clicked. "Fuck Im good" gloated Iva. "I still have it".


Shandy paused momentarily. Taking a deep breath she turned the handle. The door was open. Instantly they heard the beeping of the alarm.

"Oh my god, oh my god" gasped Carmene nervously. "Now what".

Shandy spied the control panel - she quickly punched in 131-16-0237 followed by the OFF key. The beeping stopped.


"Geezus" said Shandy


Iva shot her a questioning look "Excuse me, but how the hell did you know the number"


"I didn't. I took a gamble. I just thought it could be the number on the key and it was"


"What is that key for, we still have no idea" replied Carmene

"Well girls there is no time to ponder on that, we have a house to search"

Running off in seperate directions the girls each started looking for something, anything that would help them incriminate Imelda or anyone for that matter. They could find nothing. Finally they arrived at the double doors to Clare's boudoir. Pushing them open they entered. The room was huge with no furniture except a large circular bed. Everything was white - the walls, the carpet and the furniture. The room flowed onto the bathroom - also white with a huge in ground tub overlooking a tranquil garden. This room opened onto the walk in wardrobe, which in fact was a room. On entering they all gasped, the room was lined with closets containing exquisite peices of clothing. Shandy noticed that much of it was haute couture. They could open all doors except one at the end of the room which was locked. Beside the door was a keypad. Once again, Shandy punched in the same number and the door slid open. At first they thought nothing of the contents, just more clothes.


"Honey, this must be her expensive shit" announced Iva


"It doesn't look that special to me" said Carmene


Wait! said Shandy, fingering the garments She gasped and pulled back.


"What is it darling, whats wrong" said Carmene, pulling out a peice of clothing. Its just a white cape with a matching hat thingie".


"No, no its not" said Shandy "Look"


"Whats this all about" said Iva.


The hat was in fact a pointy hood with 2 holes for eyes and across the frount of the cape were the letters KKK.


Carmene dropped it to the floor "Is Clare what I think she is"


"What" snapped Iva impatiently


"Clare is a member of the Ku Klux Klan"


With that they could hear the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Speading the curtains Iva screamed "Fuck, fuck, its Clare, she's back".